Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Other Half Of My Brain Seems Pre-Occupied

This Isn't About Music. Let's Just Say That Flat Out So We Don't Get Confused Later On...

I Saw An Advertisement For Trojan Prophylactics. Their New Condom Is Lubricated On Both The Inside N' The Outside. Now, Maybe I'm Stupid, Maybe I Should Have Realised This Years Ago, But Is It Just Me, Or Are Trojan Actually Trying To Get You To Break The Condoms, So That You End Up Using The Whole Box In Two Hours? I Don't Know. That's Why I Was Asking You. Bad Pun, Pardon Me. Like, Being Lubricated On Both Sides, Plus The Fact That Trojan, Judging By Their Ads, Have Been Releasing Thinner N' Thinner Condoms, Wouldn't That Be An Easy Breach Of Contract, Per Se? Makes Me Wonder, How Long Until The Public Becomes Fully Aware That They Are Being Swindled?

Ahh, Well... At Least They're Not Hiding Their Faults Behind Fancy Words Like LifeStyles...

Thursday, July 22, 2010

What Killed The BNL

By BNL, I Mean, Of Course, The Barenaked Ladies. Don't Get Me Wrong, I Will Listen To Select Tracks Here N' There To Chill To, But Nothing Disturbs Me More Than When A Band Loses Their Oomph. I Blame Alanis. Plain N' Simple-That's The Truth-Irony Is Lost On Me Alanis Morrisette. See, She Was Edgy. She Was Hip To The Wrist. Talk To The Hand Attidudette. But Then She Released "So-Called Chaos", Which, Don't Be Mistaken, Had Its Ingenuity. However, Was A Pretty Chill CD Compared To What We Were Used To From The Spunk-Chic. N', Of Course, Ms. Morrisette N' The BNL Are Comrades, Friendly Peers In Their Dominance Of Hip Adult Contemporary. Which Led To The Belief That They Could Reprise Their "Maroon" Album With A CD That Would Match "Maroon"'s Integrity N' Passion. Which They Failed At By Releasing "Barenaked For The Holidays". The. Absolute. Worst. Attempt. At. Concept. Carols. This Surpasses Jim Carrey's Numb Performance Singing "You're A Mean One" In "The Grinch". So They Take From Their Ol' Buddy, Buddy Pal Alanis, N' BOOM There Ya Have It, Folks, The Crapshoots Have Begun, I Repeat, The Crapshoots Have Begun.

What Happened To My BNL? What Happened To My Morrisette? Well, We Know What Happened To Her. Love. BNL? They're Just Following Suit Because "It's All Been Done"...